Transcript
WEBVTT
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Welcome to Courageous Leadership with Travis Yates, where leaders find the insights, advice and encouragement they need to lead courageously.
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Welcome to the courageous leadership podcast and I am so glad to join us today.
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We've got something new for you.
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I really love it.
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We have the hosts from the Shield Within Podcast with us.
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It's going to be kind of a dual podcast.
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We're going to do this together.
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It's going to be fun.
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So first I'm just going to have you, gentlemen, introduce yourself and tell us about your podcast.
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Age before beauty, Dr.
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David.
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Oh wow, okay, start off with an instant judgment All right.
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What we are, cops after all.
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We don't pull punches.
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My name is Dr David.
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That's my microphone name.
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I'm a retired licensed professional clinical counselor in the state of Ohio.
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I retired in 2015.
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Mark had been my client while I was in private practice and after I retired and moved to Florida, he and I decided we needed to spend more time together.
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So we got on the phone and we talked and I got to see him a couple of times during the time I was down there and my marriage fell apart.
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I came up here three years ago and I was here about a month and Mark called me on the phone and said hey want to do a podcast.
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And I thought, hell, yes, that sounds great.
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So we started spit balling back and forth and the next thing you knew, we had an idea and a name and we started from there.
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We had I wrote an intro and an outro.
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Mark and I got together for the first seven episodes just he and I and then slowly we have added members to the team so that we have six people on the team right now.
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Mark and I remain kind of like the foundation of the podcast, but others have joined us over the course of the last couple of years and tonight it's just the three of us, mark and me and you.
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We'll just have a good time.
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And now I know who to blame, because Mark's so messed up and also it makes you.
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You're not charged us by the hour here while we're having this conversation, we're all good.
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Huh, we're good man, yeah.
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What about you, Mark?
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Obviously we have known you for years.
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Tell us a little bit about yourself.
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Well, travis, I, uh, yeah, we have known one of the three years and I was just talking with David here before we turned to microphones on how long that I've I've been a fan boy of yours.
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Um I I've been a police officer for 30 years.
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I recently well recently retired in 2021 after 30 years and retired as a police sergeant Um found myself, I don't know, in the grips of PTSD, and that's when I first became David's client and uh, just navigating through all that, uh went through a horrific event there at the end of my career.
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Uh, had it.
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First of all, we had a traumatic event, and my traumatic event I damn near got my whole crew killed.
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So that's uh was the latest or the last, probably major event with me that uh really tipped a tip to scales.
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And in 2020, uh, I went through an investigation and during that, shortly after that, came out.
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That's when David and I got together and I say, hey, let's do a podcast, let's, let's be able to inform people that number one mental health isn't bad.
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That's not a bad word.
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Let's try and get rid of the stigma.
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He and I really had a lot of fun during our sessions.
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And how do we get more cops involved to be able to be comfortable with going to counseling.
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And you know cause of my agency.
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You know you're weak, you know you're fucked up and you know, they would look for ways to get rid of you if, if you went to counseling, which I thought was just terrible.
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So, having gone through that myself and and talking with other people, uh, around, cause I'm, I'm a pretty good network not as good as yours, travis, but uh, I think I got a pretty good network, you know and some people talking about hey, pull you off the side and say, yeah, man, I'm having problems too, you know, but don't tell anybody.
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Um, so we, we decided to have the podcast and the biggest thing, the hardest thing about the show was when we're going to call it, which was, you know, we don't know, we.
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And first we started off with ah, you kind of battered around some ideas.
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Like I was called the recovery room.
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Yeah, google that one, you'll get like a thousand hits.
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So, um, david came up with the name and, um, he was just messing around with it one day and it was like you know, I feel like I need a shield and come up with my shield within to help me get through this.
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So, boom, he ran up by me.
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I'm like, oh yeah, that's it, bro.
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And the intro of our show.
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If you listen in, um, it's him and I talking with music in the background, and that's also David's work as well.
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So, the intro and the outro, uh, as David's, where he's very high functioning, very high thinking, unlike me, um, he's very smart, I'm just a dumb sergeant that uh got in a bad way, you know.
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So, uh, I think that's it.
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Well, it's a great show.
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Uh, you've got some great folks on there that I think.
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What I'm impressed by with the most, uh, dr David Mark, is how real it is.
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Right, we, we were joking before the show that I have 28 John Maxwell books.
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I read one of them.
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So I'm good, I love John Maxwell, but there's just so much of everything in this information age, right, I mean it's.
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We live in this weird time where we have all of this information and you name it in the topic, right, and obviously I'm a leadership guy, risk management guy, you guys are, you know, wellness and mental health, all this stuff but there's so much information, it all sort of.
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You know?
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This is what I tell people.
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If you want to be a police chief in a medium sized big city, I can tell you how to do it.
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There's a narrative to follow, there's a road to follow, there's a path to follow and for the most part, you sell yourself, you can't be you, you can't be honest, you can't be authentic.
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It's the same way in the training environment, podcast environment, media environment.
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There's a path.
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If you want to be successful, monetary wise, you have to follow that path, and so we have a lot of inauthentic things out there and it's doing a lot of damage.
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And I made a choice a long time ago that if I was, if I had this one life to live and it's one career to have, I was going to be real.
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And that's got my butt in a sling more times than I can think of, but I'm very proud of that.
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You know I said I told somebody a few years ago that the day I retired.
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I guess I'm going to tell you a little bit about myself, because your listeners are going to be listening to this as well.
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Oh yes.
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And they may.
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They may not know who I am, but I just retired for 30 years with Tulsa police department and had a, you know, an awesome career.
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I got to do a lot of cool things and I didn't didn't really know.
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When I got in law enforcement my dad was a police captain enforcement Tharken Saltham and if you'd asked him my goals I've seen about this today as I was coming on the show if you'd asked him my goals in the academy and I was 21 years old in the academy, fred, I shot a college kind of my first real job.
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I'd had odd jobs here and there, my first legitimate real job.
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If you asked me on that first day in the academy it would have been my same go throughout my career.
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I said you know, I want to.
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I want to be the best cop I can be.
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Uh, I'd like to be a street sergeant for the most of my career, cause for some reason that just seemed cool and and, mark, you know that's the best job on the planet.
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Best job I can tell you that.
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And then, right before I retire, I like to make captain because my dad's a captain and I think that I'd call it good.
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I had no thoughts about podcasting or training or consulting or all these sort of different areas I'm doing.
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People will walk up to me in a class and go, oh, I want to do what you do.
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I'm like, well, I got a story to tell you because if you want to do it really bad, the odds are you probably shouldn't do it, right, uh, cause I just fell into it and uh, and so it's.
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It's pretty strange.
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And but what I saw in my career is I saw this narrative, I saw this path and I saw people being very successful to this day.
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Uh, and there's even a higher level of success.
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I call them those DOJ chiefs.
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Right, you can really.
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You can really be successful in the retirement if you become the DOJ chief and you have consultant gigs for the rest of your life and to do next to nothing, to run police departments and communities along the way.
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And it just made me sick.
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I can't really take credit for it.
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It's just what was inside of me.
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You know, maybe my, my family, maybe it's my faith.
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I just had this earning to go.
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I want to do what's right and I want to stand by what's right, and that goes with officers.
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So when I saw these officers throughout my career getting messed with, screwed with, and as I went up in the ranks, and just to tell you I what I bought my goal was was not what happened.
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I'd probably be a little happier today if it was.
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I ended up making first line supervisor three years into my career, at the Rapport age of 25 years old.
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Wow, at the time I was 28,.
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I was a street sergeant.
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At the time I was 31, 32,.
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I was a captain, I was a middle management and I was a commander, uh, in 2003, 2004,.
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Uh, major, which is right below the chief rank.
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So you know I I didn't really there was not a secret to that.
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I just worked hard and tried to do the best I could do and things just fell that way.
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I would have been perfectly happy with the street sergeant my entire career.
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That's just what happened.
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But I never really internally changed throughout that and that didn't mow well as I went through the management ranks, because that did not meet oftentimes what was expected of me, and so when I questioned things and when I wonder why we were do certain things, it was interesting, right, it was really interesting, and I was just naive to think that everybody felt like me.
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They wanted to do what's right, they wanted to tell the truth.
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They wanted, you know, they wanted to stop people attacking us when they were lying and we would tell the.
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It just wasn't the case and so I sort of had this burden, uh, dr David and Mark, for the rest of my life.
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My purpose is just to still stand up for this profession.
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I think one of the saddest things is when people spend 15, 20, 30, 35 years in this profession and they retire, they go, I'm out, I'm out, I'm done and you're not done.
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You're, god built you to serve right and you need to serve.
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It may be a different capacity, just like you, gentlemen, are still serving.
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That really is what I felt my purpose is.
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I've sort of fallen in line with, uh, really pushing what I would call courageous leadership, which is a weird term, because I see the book behind you.
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Thank you for putting up there today for me, mark.
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Oh brother, it's always up there but that really that you know that's just a fancy term for great leadership, right, and it seems to be so rare.
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It's like a unicorn, and the reason it's so rare is what I just described.
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That doesn't bode well for longterm success when it comes to finances or careers and this and that because it's if you're weak and if you go with the narrative, there's lots of avenues and places for you, but I do not believe in the long run those people will be happy.
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I don't believe in the long run those people will make any changes.
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I don't believe in the long run, those people will leave a legacy.
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And so my go, uh, as long as a good Lord gives me time as to believe in Mark in society the best I can, and so when I'm long gone, that is still there and it's been an incredible journey.
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I couldn't ask for anything more.
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I'm very, very blessed.
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I meet people like you every single day and there's a lot of us out there.
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But they've been stymied right.
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They've been, they've been beat over the head so much that they have marks on their head right, and so many people give up.
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They just give up because they figure out.
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Why do I want to fight this fight.
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Well, that's because you fight to fight, because it's worth it.
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The men and women that were at this badge are worth it.
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The communities they serve are worth it, and I'm just so thankful for what both of you do and all the folks that you have on your show.
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And that's kind of my short summary story.
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Well, travis, I I want to go ahead and tell our listeners and for everyone else that's listening to your show welcome and thanks for listening to us.
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I've known you for a long time and you have left a big mark already and I feel that you've already have left the legacy.
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Your book is one of the books.
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Whenever I hear someone that's going to get into management, they I want to be a sergeant and I will buy your book on Amazon and the one next to it there, maxwell's, and hand them two books to those people.
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And the reason why is because Maxwell kind of gives you the tools to put in line for whatever the law.
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That Maxwell's 21 is what I'm talking about, and you're right.
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All the rest of them basically are just, you know, different derivatives of that original book.
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Not that everything doesn't isn't good.
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Your book the courageous police leader keeps it real and it, it, it puts a perspective out there that take care of your people.
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Um, and it's so frustrating that and we've had several discussions on this show as well as others have been guests on that somewhere along the line we stopped taking care of our people.
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I think it's Ferguson.
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I think the lie of Ferguson is where management, not leaders management.
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In this idea of we need to hold people accountable because they weren't accountable in Ferguson, which is we're rated explicit HS, I'm going to say horse on my show.
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Uh yeah.
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I can.
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I can swear like a sailor and then, for your audience, I'm not going to do that.
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We're not on the radio.
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So, no, well, fucking horse shit, throw it out there, and I do I do this LEO round round table podcast and it's, it's streamed on it's on radio and radio.
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And they sent me this email and it said there's here's a seven words you can't say on radio.
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And I read the seven words and I got about six words into it and I go well, I don't say any of those words I'm not even worried about.
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Well, I didn't read the seventh word mark, seventh word of shit, and I do use that word time to time and I said it one day and the producer came unglued man, because apparently the SCC takes that stuff very seriously.
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Right, so, yeah, lesson learned.
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Lesson is this read the entire sentence, Just like attorneys right.
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Yeah.
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And when you said that, it reminded me of that bit that George Carlin used to do yes, absolutely.
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The comedian George Carlin.
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But anyway, um, in this whole strife of we're going to hold people accountable, it's like I'm all about accountability, okay, but when did you quit taking care of people?
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When did you start taking this officer that?
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He's on midnight's?
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He's endured a lot of stress.
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He saw a bunch of crap.
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His wagon is full.
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He's not going to therapy.
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You know he's existing on caffeine, cigarettes, red bowls, whatever.
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Uh, you know he's sleeping four or five hours a day.
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Now he's starting to make bad life decisions.
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His family's starting to come apart, you know.
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So instead of management saying, hey, bro, come here, man, you know we need to talk, you need to start getting your life together.
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You know I'm noticing some changes in you.
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You're calling off sick.
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You know just this, isn't you.
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So instead of cultivating that guy that which most departments if you're there 10 years, what do you think it'd be fair to say, travis, we have at least a quarter million dollars worth of training in someone If you've been there 10 years, probably more easy I'm just being conservative of the quarter million.
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Yeah, half million.
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Yeah.
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Exactly.
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So let's say a half million.
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We have a half million dollars invested in this officer.
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So what's this manager?
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Not leader?
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What's the manager solution?
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That's firing.
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Let's step him up the discipline because we're going to hold people accountable.
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Let's just step him up the disciplinary scale and get rid of him.
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In the meantime, what's our number one killer of police officers is we're killing ourselves, and that's at an alarming rate.
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Not only are we having line of duty deaths, and Now to compound that and add in the fact that officers are going home and whacking themselves.
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And back in my day, early days, and probably early in your career, oh, what happened to bill?
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He was cleaning his gun and shot himself.
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We all know that was a suicide.
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I mean, doc, dr David got an aha moment.
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He's like, oh yeah, I used to hear those all the time.
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Well, back in them days they took care of people.
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They didn't want that stigma and Having that attitude.
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The worst thing in the world, because we're not taking care of people, is Number one.
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You're in a bad spot.
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Maybe you find yourself.
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You know your.
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Your life has come apart.
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Your family's come apart.
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Now your management's coming at you from the back.
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You know we can deal with the guy on the street.
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I know the terms there.
00:16:24.424 --> 00:16:50.884
I can't deal with the guy that's attacking me from the rear and their only thing is is that we need to hold people accountable because of a lie we were told of a national event, and there's several of them and I don't want to get real super political, but I think that we had, and we've had, a vacuum of leaders and there's a difference between leadership and management is Definite, and I can remember standing up in our command staff meetings and saying this is bullshit.
00:16:50.884 --> 00:16:55.304
You know, we need to be taking care of our people, the road dogs out there that are showing up every day.
00:16:55.304 --> 00:16:57.374
They're getting used up right now.
00:16:57.374 --> 00:17:00.004
You know overtime shift after overtime shift.
00:17:00.004 --> 00:17:09.739
You know well they're just not taking good care on themselves and we need to start having, as departments and as leaders, more empathy for our people that are out there protecting our citizens every day.
00:17:12.306 --> 00:17:15.474
I'm waiting on you, dr David, but you want to point over to me.
00:17:15.997 --> 00:17:21.974
Well, I watched a lot of your presentations over the weekend the last few days.
00:17:21.974 --> 00:17:37.358
So far it hasn't harmed me one bit, and you had a goose story that you told to a presentation and I love the goose story.
00:17:38.165 --> 00:17:38.647
And it was.
00:17:38.647 --> 00:17:40.672
It was a goose, or is it geese?
00:17:40.672 --> 00:17:43.278
Always getting trouble by the Autobahn Society right?
00:17:44.308 --> 00:17:45.924
Well, I'm never quite sure.
00:17:45.924 --> 00:18:01.416
It sounded like it's probably plural, so okay, when I when I looked it up online it was called the goose story, okay, but I loved the principle there of you have a flock of geese flying migration.
00:18:01.416 --> 00:18:24.657
You have one goose that's Breaking the wind, leading everybody else, and then it's fatiguing, it's exhausting, and somehow the birds know it's time for somebody else to do that now, and so the top guy, the front guy, falls back, somebody else comes up front and it goes like that for miles and miles and miles and miles and they know the direction, they know the purpose, they know the go.
00:18:24.698 --> 00:18:25.704
They're all in it together.
00:18:25.704 --> 00:18:31.192
They always get to the same place, unless dr David, their police birds.
00:18:31.192 --> 00:18:40.394
Then they all backstab each other and change directions and they fire the head geese and they bring in the new geese and they get rid of that program because that geese like that program.
00:18:40.394 --> 00:18:42.288
And it goes on and on right.
00:18:42.964 --> 00:18:56.938
Exactly, the number one thing I think I've been educated about in the last three years Is how police, law enforcement people fuck each other and they do it in so many different ways.
00:18:56.938 --> 00:18:59.567
It's like I Don't know.
00:18:59.567 --> 00:19:15.554
It must take a lot of creativity, you know, because I the, the whole culture seems to have an element and everywhere I go, every way that talks to me about it, everywhere this has whole pattern historically of law enforcement people.
00:19:15.554 --> 00:19:16.907
Fucking each other.
00:19:17.528 --> 00:19:19.032
It's whether they're not in a fun way.
00:19:19.032 --> 00:19:20.237
You're not talking about the fun way.